same old, same old
2003-07-07 | 9:42 p.m.

wellllllll then.. certainly has been interesting today.. OMG YESSSS WE'RE LEAVING THIS HELL HOLE.. i know its horrid to run from your problems BUT a goot 9 day vacation isnt going to hurt me any..

i called charlie 2x today.. the first time we talked or should i say "talked" for over an hour.. i ended up telling him everything that was in last nights entry purdy much and some other stuff.. pissed him off.. i called him back AFTER freaking out and crying b/c i thot he was mad at me.. and he said he wasnt so we were all good.. and then he went and ate dinner and came on here to read this thinger.. and i came on when he was reading it and he was a little pissy.. BUT he said that he'd call me.. and he didnt.. he might have tried once and it was busy and he didnt try again, or he was in sabattus, or someone else was on the phone, or he didnt have a phone card, or he passed out... OMG i could go on and on w/ reasons he could give.. and ill prolly get one of em WHEN i talk to him.. GOD only knows when that will be.. yep, im leaving tomorrow morning.. dunno when B/C we have to RE-PACK everything, do dishes, groom, make sure i got everything, feed/water/liter the cats b/c they wont be fed again until wednesday... o yah SO i deff cant talk to him then.. FOR some reason i knew he wouldnt call me BUT i was ignoring it and trying to be positive.. o yah that tacktic works.. he said that he would and he said that i didnt trust him SO i was trying.. no, im not going to trust him w/ much if he cant even pick up the phone and dial 7 digits.. must be awful hard on his little finger.. DAMN! the sacrafices he makes!!!!! i was going to call him from michigan.. and i still might BUT wait! o i know what ill do.. he is prolly gonna see how pissed he can make me.. test the waters, see what he can get away with AND then read this tomorrow to see his results.. hmmm SOOOO, keeping that in mind.. wait no, nvm.. i have to be honest on here dont i?? damn it... depends on how much i miss him i guess.. ya, i know what you're picturing... me, clutching the phone, knuckles white and it shoved against my ear the entire trip... but w/e.. my friends think im pathetic and like him more than he deserves and he thinks that im always mad at him and that i think he's an ass-hole.. what a combination.. geezum crow.. i swear that i jus should have kept my mouth shut and not said a DAMN word JUST like i planned to..

when we were on the phone i we some how i said something about me wondering what he was going to be doing when i was in michigan.. and hes like "well, what will YOOOOOU be doing in michigan" FUCKIN A.. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! o yah baby, scoping on the sexy bitchs that adrian has to offer.. 1st of all i have done nothing to make him not trust me.. like i explained to him, i always have my guard up.. and when i take it down ppl always fuck w/ me.. he dumped me and i wasnt expecting it.. so now, im always, or at least for a while, expect the worst everytime i hear from him.. (and obvisouly when i dont hear from him) yah im keeping at least part of my guard up..

*SIGH* listening to simple plan.. at first, i liked them but thought they were a little boy-bandish.. but now i have the cd and i can relate to like all the songs.. well, not alien.. worst day ever is basically the way my life is

(And I feel like

I'm living the worst day

Over and over again

And I feel like the summer is leaving again

I feel like

I'm living the worst day

I feel like you're gone

And every day is the worst day ever), meet you there reminds me A LOT of charlie.. not the entire song of corse BUT

(Now youre gone

I wonder why

You left me here

I think about it on

n on n on n on

n on n on again...

...I hope that you can hear me

I'm waiting to hear from you

Until i do

Youre gone away

Im left alone

A part of me is gone...

I wish I could have told you

The things I kept inside

But now I guess its just too late

So many things remind me of you

I hope that you can hear me

I miss you)

so yah, now that you see them lol.. addicted was SO his song when we werent together.. i wont be there is for my aunt jane, one day is for her too... my dad will be hearing perfect someday.. PoOdLeS uNiTe will be playing it for him.. grow up is SO my anthem.. b/c all the things in it are me things.. x-mas list is ok BUT its too selfish.. and i dont like being selfish.. BUT neways.. i gotta get up at fuckin SIX tomorrow so we can leave before noon...

charlie, if you read this, im kinda pissed that you didnt call BUT ill get over it.. you prolly have a good reason so i shouldnt let it bug me.. and if you are pissed at me, i can understand why and i hope you forgive me b/c i love you n im sorry for being a bitch.. ill keep my thoughts to myself from now on.. ill try to call you thursday.. if you're home.. *muah*

everyone else, this is it.. love yah and ill see you at mollyockett day.. prolly the night before at big?? yah make that your plan and ill try to convince my parents into it.. dont miss me too much and if you gave me your addy, ill be writing you.. NINNO I CANT WAIT FOR CAMP!! we can be bad together baby! WE ARE TAKING OVER!! hhaahahahaha

this is all for now.... byes!

***(((((MUAH)))))***
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