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inside out
2003-07-23 | 12:18 p.m. *...So Cal is where my mind states, But it's not my state of mind. I'm not as ugly, sad as you. Or am I origami? Folded up and just pretend. Demented as the motives in your head. I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rinds But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside. I would swallow my doubt, Turn it inside out. Find nothing but faith in nothing. Want to put my tender Heart in a blender Watch it spin round To a beautiful oblivion? Rendezvous, Then I'm through with you...* well, i did it lol.. he was cooking lunch for him n his dad so we only talked for like 5 mins.. and hes gonna call me back!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol im about to shit myself... not really.. HE CAN COOK! OMG not many guys around here can.. my brother makes the best mashed potato's.. i guess hes good at cooking the animals he kills (hunts) BUT i dont eat that shit SO ill never know.. my dad cant cook for shit.. hot dogs n mac n cheese r his specialty.. good thing we dont live like we did B/C i dont eat hot dogs.. especially RED hot dogs.. his FAVE.. *shudder* my sister cant cook much either.. or she used to not be able to.. boxed mac n cheese n frozen green beans.. when i was in 2nd grade i was making my own dinner.. welcome to my world.. im not the best cook BUT i do know how to read recipies.. dont take much ya know?? im getting freaked for camp! i need to do laundry.. i think i left my fave thong at jessica's.. what am i going to do??? its really depressing me here.. me n ninno are going to make voodoo dolls and bring.. jus to see what ppl do.. im not sure when im gonna have my party.. some time next month.. cant WAIT for that either.. im thinking of reconciling w/ tyler.. if he wants to skrew w/ bolstridge, shes so into him that there isnt anything i can do, so im not even gonna bother.. and i dont give a shit about what he tells charlie anymore.. bolstridge says that tyler told her once that charlie likes to keep things going b/c he thrives on chaos.. would have been nice to know this BEFORE i met him SO id know that he was gonna fuck w/ my head.. i guess that jenna did try warning me.. telling me that he had a big head was a little misleading b/c well its a normal size to ME but neways.. he does, he fuck w/ you.. its SOOO annoying and i cant take it any more AND im pretty sure that i dont have to.. lol he waited 2 weeks and turned up again.. he better not try that again b/c lol ima hang up.. especially if he tries to get ahold of me n acts like we're still together.. hahahahaha im gonna laff.. like i am now. im not sure on what to do w/ shaun.. i dont want to get him involved w/ shit n have charlie show up and totally skrew w/ him.. that would not be good w/ me.. i dont even think that shaun likes me so i dunno who im kidding.. being single for a while, especially for camp, sounds good.. i bet shaun has to work friday and wont go to big.. *sigh* o well.. he better fucking call me tomorrow.. today before work would be ok too... and lol i hope he dont call me too early b/c im a bitch if you wake me up.. i still have to do that english thinger.. AHHHHHHHHH OMG its SOOO stupid! shaun hasnt even taken his out of his bag.. lucky lol. and he passed all his classes.. at one point he didnt think he was going to.. me too! i swear id kill myself before taking global again.. i hate leclerc.. hes SUCH a perv and i swear he lies about being in the army.. PLUS hes a wicked womanizer.. i cant wait until junior year b/c i have mr. bennet.. my cousin dougie.. lol its gonna be weird BUT he totally favors me n my friends (well KINDA) b/c we're related.. bout time.. the preps get their hey-day b/c half their parents are teachers.. plus they cheat AND dont usually get caught.. A BUNCH got caught cheating on poston's exam this year.. hahahahahahaaha and they got suspended.. im sure that 1/2 my class will too b/c we're so cool! but w/e.. i gotta go.. i need chocolate.. |