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livin' for tomorrow
2003-07-23 | 8:41 p.m. *...I never will forget those nights, I wonder if it was a dream, Remember how you made me crazy?, Remember how I made you scream? Now I don't understand what happened to our love, But babe, I'm gonna get you back. I'm gonna show you what I'm made of. I can see you- Your brown skin shinin' in the sun. I see you walkin' real slow and you're smilin' at everyone. I can tell you my love for you will still be strong. After the boys of summer have gone. Out on the road today, I saw a BLACK FLAG sticker on a Cadillac, A little voice Inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back." I thought I knew what love was, What did I know Those days are gone forever. I should just let them go but-...* ahhhhh im SO happy tonight. even tho my aunt wont let me stay up and watch cupid b/c SHE needs to get to bed.. w/e this has to do w/ me, well i dont know BUT o well im sick of arguing.. *sigh* livin' for tomorrow morning.. im gonna get up BRIGHT n early to vaccum b/c i dont want him to call me n im doing something like that.. how stoopid would i be?? OMG PUNK ROCK 101 by bowling for soup jus came on.. and my aunt was in here bitchin at me.. i hadnt heard the song.. since before michigan SO i booked it to my room and turned it up and she came in, babbling about my FUCKING summer reading book n then bitching at me to turn it down.. wtf SO i yelled at her and told her i would after the song was over and that she had ruined it thank you very much. and she went downstairs.. FUCKER!! OMG its raining REALLY hard.. i love it! its so calming.. now if my cat would sleep w/ some one else tonight and let me have my own bed i think id get some decent sleep.. unlike last night.. OMG that didnt work out for me.. i feel stoopid when i think back on it.. my exact thoughts were "wtf is life? half of my relationships have been completely bogus.. all guys want is sex.. maybe im being too stingy and should jus give em and let em have it.. itd make em happy n prolly make me happy.." n i started crying.. and now im like wtf was i thinking? obvisouly if thats all they wanted they arent worth my time.. when im gonna find some one that isnt interested in that, well i have no clue.. shaun would be one to like me for.. me... but i dont think he's interested.. o well.. my friends seem to think so.. and lately they seem to know more about my private life than i do and i bearly talk to them.. how freaky is that?? i told steph that he said he'd call me in the morning and shes like "awwwwww!!! that is SOOO cute!!" i was like "uhhh??" i dont see whats so cute about it?? i mean, yah hes cute (ok, ADORABLE..lol) and he's cute talking on the phone im sure.. but cute isnt they way id describe it.. but o well im too freaked to care.. awwww fuck! lol yah know how ive been praising the rain?? yah well Shaun had to work today... and he works outside... hahahahahaa in this rain!! i have something to tease him about tomorrow!!! he was commenting on that this morning.. poor him!! he cooks n has a job... how perfect?? lol im dumb.. w/e ninno left and barely talked to me.. *sniffle* im pissed.. n bolstridge is at the movies w/ tyler.. shes seen him every day since shes been home.. AND yah she told me some more charlie SHIT today BUT i dont remember what it was.. OOOHHHHH YAH! carlo IS going to germany.. too bad he didnt go when me n charlie were together.. and *awww* he cant go to the marilyn manson concert.. so tyler might buy his ticket.. but poor charlie.. him n his lover wont get to go see marilyn manson together.. now i know that marilyn manson i homophobic (isnt he?? maybe i dont know..) oK i THINK he is.. but the way he is.. i bet gay guys go n see him.. i mean i think hes sexy.. not the fact he has boobs n her not like HOOOOOT lol but hes got this morbidness around him that turns me on lol.. dont ask.. so yah, i bet THATS why charlie and carlo were going lol.. tyler better watch his back (back-side... hahaha).. neways, im gonna go before i completely kill myself b/c im so gonna die laffing and i need to shut off my ideas b/c they keep flowing.. (hello, remember the thinger marilyn manson got in trouble for?? the balls on the head incident??) hahahaahaha ok *gasping for air* i gotta got b/c i cant breathe.. lol NIGHTY NIGHT!! SWEET DREAMS!! |