anti-, aim rants and my MID-LIFE CRISIS lol
2003-08-06 | 9:59 p.m.

here i am sitting in here... my face feel SO discustingly oily and ive washed it 3 times today... last week i was lucky if i had time to wash it twice.. i am so going to get my period this weekend.. o joyful.. another sign, my stomach... ive potty-ed myself quite throughly today.. and eaten. and moved around some.. and my stomach hurts... no not cramps b/c i get them too.. it jus a dull ache w/ shots of pain like my intestines are being knotted together.. way to be.. my sister gave me some major pain killers to get rid of my cramps (i cant barely walk w/ them) and tylenol (3 extra strength.. shh dont tell my aunt lol..) to get rid of the stomach pains.. talk about feelin like a drug addict..

speaking of, rob, im sorry, once again, if i pissed you off w/ my earlier comments.. previous to the past 2 months ive had to real problems w/ ppl drinking, hell i have drank in the past 4 months, not a lot BUT a shot or 2.. but lately i can see through umm another person, what drinking to escape your problems can do.. or make you want to do.. and perhaps even do.. yes folks, alcohol is a depressant... say it w/ me DEPRESSANTS MAKE YOU DEPRESSED especially if your already stressed and depressed... i care what my friends do and im saying now, to the few of you that read this, i am not going to touch alcohol again.. at least until its legal.. neither will i smoke cancer stick or weed.. i have asthma anyway so i really shouldnt be.. but if my friends do it, well i cant do a damn can i?? and im not going to bitch if they only do it once in a while.. but they have to have a good reason.. partying is good... "jus b/c" is good... (well not good but you know what i mean.. not umm too harmful to you.. yes, decisions you make prolly wont be good and put others in danger BUT they keep you from killing yourself, yes? well usually yes..) neways drinking to forget and/or get away is not a good reason.. i have heard straight from some one's mouth that "i was depressed and the drinking made it worse" (i actually think i put who this was in an earlier entry... im almost positive i did.. ill check and post a new one saying yes or no.. later k??) and they are now talking about wanting to kill themselves b/c everything is fucked up.. and things got fucked up b/c ppl told him they didnt like his drinking and he had a problem.. and he got mad and they uhh kicked him out.. he says no one care... but he obvisouly isnt realizing that ppl do if they are telling him this shit.. so neways, rob i think i was apologizing to.. nip it now and you wont have to worry about jack squat k?? love you man!

nextly im going to rant about aim.. not the program but the morons that use it lol.. firstly are the name crisis' we have on our hands.. no offence but WHY use your NAME?? (ash n maranda im not dissin.. lemme finish before you get mad) stalker material yes?? first name, fine, whole thing? nope! and the directory info?? unless ppl that are only on your list can read it, fine but your addy for the entire world?? nope, id like to have all sex be consentual thanks.. and not forced by some 50 year old pakistan dude thats going to rape you and then sell you as a bow-legged servant to some saudi prince.. way to be!! another thing.. dont use OTHER ppls names as your own.. lol as corny as this sounds its happened to me.. ppl on MY list lol

jerryindahouse69:hi

me: hey jerry!

jerryindahouse69: uhh this isnt jerry, this is bob...

o damn yes i forgot that! bob, bob.. the name jerry jus brings it alll back.. (btw that berry/jeb peson was fake lol) but really.. confusingness.. now its ok if your name doesnt relate to yo perse.. creativeness is always a plus.. and if your creativeness is lacking, well isnt there a thing that lets you type like 3 words and they HELP you w/ a name?? be for sho, (simmerins out.. hahahahahahahaha lmao... yeah class of 03!! hahahahha) how hard is it to think of something?? you nick name, a number and a fave movie... or umm fave celeb/hero and a part of your fave song title of lyric.. or something that relates to you.. yah hello?? the possibilities are endless.. (whats that from??)

another thing about aim.. if you log in and immedietly put up an away message what was the since in logging on?? i can see having to pee or grabbing food.. something simple like that but "im away, leave me some for when i get back" and 2 hours later still "im away, leave me some for when i get back"... or logging in and putting an away message "i just left leave me some" or "im not home! im shopping! leave some for when i get home!" can we say WASTING ELETRICITY??? helllllloooo?? buy a cell and give all your lovers and wanna-be lovers and friends the # so they can call you!! whoot-whoot did i jus frizzle your likkle fragile brain beyoch?? lol.. didnt think so lol..

werd.. my aunt is so weird.. shes looking out the window and shes like "O WOW! THE MOON! i havnt seen it in ages??" omg, yah its been raining since friday but doesnt the moon always look the same?? :.*+ O MOON! HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!!!! i burn, i pine, i perish with-out your love.. *+.: (and then you see me out side w/ candles and insence bowing in the middle of the field lol) w/e.. i like it better totally dark.. especially w/ the rain on the roof.. way to be peaceful..

like i told jake, i am having a mid-life crisis.. we are out of frusit by the foot.. perhaps b/c i have eaten 3 in the past uhhhh 2 hours?? lol (i left out that part..) so now i must wither and die.. well i supposed i could eat my verily diluted/flattened ginger-ale.. HATE ginger-ale.. nasssssty! and its even worse when is diluted.. way to be PEE lol..

i dont know wtf is up w/.. anything?? i am so confused as to guys.. one guy seems to think it ok to talk to me only every few weeks but me be still completely attatched.. the other i dont think knows i like him.. n im not really sure i do.. he's funny and usually great to be around... but hes a ladies man.. he tells me one thing and im like "YAY!!" and then i talk to my friend and tell her and shes like "o he said that to me too".. she says she doesnt like him but i dunno.. we'll see.. i dont care.. he lives too far away for me to date anyway.. plus im still in the uhhhhh other "relationship".... i dont know if it should be called that.. we never talk.. and umm a relationship (i wrote relationshiT on accident.. about right lol) has to be based on something right?? some type of communication.. and uhhh what happens if there is none?? well the relationship ceases to exist, am i right?? wellllll then things start up again.. for 2 weeks.. n then 2 days... n then 1 day.. and uhhh will there be another?? well i guess we'll wait until the weekend and see.. whoooooooohoooo i cant barely contain my excitement.. another heart break ahead!! im getting pretty used to it so im not quite as devistated every time (as in "greatest fall of all time" (greatest song!!) by matchbook romance "and rest assured im moving on, i miss you less with each day your gone.".. that is so true.. and it hurts bit when you jus pop up.. and say meaningful stuff that i believe.. and then a day or 2 later it starts all over again.. and then a week or 3 go by and your back w/ more excuses and meaningful words.. i dont know how much longer im gonna be able to take it.. its not plesant... i told naomi that i didnt know about guys anymore and she sent me this cheeky smile and i was like "uhh im not becoming a lesbian.. hello, lil miss *boy crazy* speaking... i dont like being called that.. b/c im not.. so ive got raging hormones.. is that my fault??" lol i crack myself up i do..

im getting sicker by the minute.. so im going to bed.. cheerio! *^*goodnight sweetheart, well its time to go (ba doo ba doo)*^* (lol i wont start) as in the words of me n my :.+*SHEBAH*+.: ROCK ON!!!!!!! PARTY NAKED!!! night my dumplings.. schweetah dreeeeaaammmmmmmsssssss my PRETTIES lol.. **muah
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