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gonna give up
11.03.03 | 3:28 pm ok, i dont know where to begin... the ppl that CAN read this, prolly dont, but right now i am so beyond caring for anything at all that i dont care. everything is so messed up that i cant even put it in words.. when someones friends are their family.. n then all of a sudden they can do no right in the sight of their friends, what comes next? i have no family, i have no friends.. i dont trust any one.. high school is supposed to be the best time of my life and so far, its the worst.. since i stopped hangin out w/ bolstridge and chika my relationship w/ danielle has completely or almost completely, vanished.. steph, i dont know if she was ever really my friend.. ever being the past 2 years.. or 2 n 1/2 years.. she jus says stuff for attention. b/c thats what she wants... n she doesnt care if it hurts you.. n if it does, she could careless... but if you look at her crosseyed she wont talk to you for a month.. n every thing you tell her, gets told to the wrong ppl.. since sis dont like her she dont want sis to like anyone else, including me i guess.. so after me n sissys big blow out today, i was sitting in the glassroom w/ jess (glassroom, aka the space between the 2 sets of glassdoors near the auditorium/cafe) n steph comes in.. she says "so i hear that you guys are fighting" n im like "yah. so?" n shes like "well it doesnt make me happy b/c i dont like it when you fight." WTF?? she the one that been telling every little thing.. alright, the entry a little while back about how i thot sis n jess were gonna ignore me.. well its been 3 weeks n i havnt gone to sissys.. shell say "o i dont want to hang out" to me n then have josh n ash n jess over.. or on halloween, when all i was gonna do is walk around town w/ them, she was gonna call me when she gets out of drivers ed.. n she didnt, she went to james' w/ ash n rob.. n then expects me not to be upset.. so, i acted like i wasnt.. n steph ASKED me what i did on halloween n i said stayed home. n then she says "o i thot you were supposed to go w/ sis" n i said "yah but she went w/ ash in rob. but o well" n then she tells sis i was bitching about it. riiight.. n supposedly ive been bitching to other ppl about it.. ash, asked me what was wrong so i told her, steph too, n then I TOLD SIS THAT DAY. so she cannot say that i run my mouth n dont tell her.. i told jess b/c IT HAD TO DO WITH HER and i didnt want her to think i was mad at her.. sis is mad at jess now too b/c jess hangs out w/ nick instead of being up her ass all the time.. w/e |